My one year blog anniversary was on 20th of this month, I have had a crazy couple of weeks so I couldn’t publish anything.
In celebration of one year in WordPress as a poet and writer, I take you back to my very first article and my favourite one.
Of course I have grown so much from the girl who was hurting and self-absorbed after losing her mom;
The room is dark
I can’t see
The air is musty
I can’t breath
The room is small
When I stretch out my hands I can touch the walls
The floor is wet
I can’t sit
My mind is clouded
I can’t think
There is no door
I can’t leave
I can’t escape
I need to call for help
But I can’t make a sound
The walls are so high
I can’t even see the roof
I am trapped!
And the only light I have
Is the hope that somehow
Someone will rescue me.
….to the girl who cares for people other than herself; the girl who wrote this;
The pains of the African woman
Being an African myself, born and bred in Africa, I can say that I have had the displeasure of witnessing/seeing firsthand what the African culture/society has done to its woman.
Sure, I happen to be lucky enough to have a mother who made sure I know that my place isn’t the kitchen, that I can do anything and be anything I set my heart to, but that is not the case for every girl. The average African girl is brought up with the mentality that she is inferior to her brothers both young and old.
She has to serve her brothers as her masters. She has to serve them food and water even if they walk in when she is in the middle of her meal, and when they need a refill, she has to ‘pause’ eating and refill their plates. She doesn’t have a ‘name’ until she gets married and gets her husband’s name thus making marriage her biggest dream and highest achievement. Therefore, she learns how to be a ‘good wife’ from as early as she can walk; she learns to cook, fetch firewood, balance a pot full of water on her head cause, these are the qualities the man’s family will look at when the time for marriage comes.
If she falls pregnant while still in school or before marriage, she gets ostracized by everybody around her, while the boy, who made the same mistake as her, is treated with some sort of reverence because he has proved that he is a ‘man’.
When she gets married, she becomes her husband’s property. She is expected to just be seen but not to be heard. She can’t make any decision regarding the children, the family or even herself except what they are going to have for breakfast, lunch and supper. If the husband turns out to be violent, she is expected to receive every beating graciously because, well, there is no better show of ‘affection’ than a beating from your husband.
In the cases where the husband abandons her and the children, raises her children but at the end of it all, it’s said that the children belong to the man. If one or a couple of them end up ‘not doing so well in life’, then those are hers cause its assumed that they must have got it from her or she simply didn’t raise them well.
Video clips of cats drowning while trying to rescue their kittens, or dogs getting hit by a car or pleading faces of street kids begging for food are as sad as hell, but there’s nothing as heartbreaking as watching an African woman going through all this and so much more with a brave smile on her face.
I dedicate this one year anniversary to my mommy whose love for books was so infectious that I fell in love with reading and writing.
Of all my achievements, this website is my favourite one and it wouldn’t be running without your support, so thank you wonderful artistes and friends for your support.
Happy blog anniversary to me and this little website of mine !
Photo uploaded from google
Little bird settled on my window sill
Looking for food or time to kill
She pecked around for a deal to seal
I think she would have better luck way way up the hill.
Drifting off in to the night
Swallowed by the darkness in the light
What is there more to be disguised
When karma, with all her might
Pulled a bitch from the beloved’s heart.
I hate violence. Violence against women, against children, against human beings and against animals( those who load 400 litres of water on a cart pulled by one donkey and then lash the donkey to move faster all the way to their destination, you are pure evil).
What I witnessed on Sunday irked me to my bones. I saw two guys walking and entering a building which I believe is what we call a video show. A minute later, the guy who was at the front, who is built and strong, threw out the one who was at the back who is not built at all and appeared a little drunk.
The built guy then kicked him and stepped on his neck while the victim was just lying there, not trying to fight back and kept on saying “Go on, step on me, I have contributed a lot to this business.” And shamelessly, he kept on pummelling him while throwing victorious glances at me, probably thinking “oh she is so impressed by me now, seeing how I am totally winning this”. Well, screw you dude! I couldn’t be less impressed. Two or three more guys walked out of the building and pulled the victim to his feet and the built guy started slapping him on the face while again, the victim responded with” I have contributed a lot to this business”.
What angered me the most is that the guys weren’t even trying to help him. Nobody tried to prevent the bully from hitting him. And I just stood there, feeling very bad but unable to do anything cause I might have ended up being his next victim which wouldn’t have helped.
I disrespect violent people. Most of all, I disrespect those who fight against the weak. Those who fight against people who have no chance of winning against them. It is no fair fight. It is bullying. And moreover, there is neither honor nor glory in winning a fight against someone who had no chance of defeating you to begin with.
If you are one of these people, get yourself some class.
It is pumping fast
Why the hell can’t you go slow?
All my bones screaming NO!
In every passing racing beat,
The loud Nos cease.
How long will they last?
High up on cloud nine
Be only a matter of time
Before I come crashing down
Anyone else’s but mine.
Photo uploaded from google
I love listening to music. I do so when I am washing utensils, doing my laundry or sometimes, passively when I am writing. Whenever I am actively listening to a song, I listen to every word in it, try to find the poetry in it, the meaning behind; every word, intonation, sigh etc. Yesterday, I was listening to one of the songs that I haven’t listened to in a long while. A song that reminded me of how we women tend to lose our power in relationships.
As women, when we love a guy so much, we tend to let them walk all over us. It always starts with us letting them have their way in small things like choosing when to meet, a restaurant to go to, a date spot and before we know it, we don’t have any more power to lose.
In light of this reminder, I dug through my old playlist and came up with the following songs about women taking control in relationships.
Don’t let it go to your head by Jordin sparks
I fell in love with this song the first time I heard it which was some years back and then I forgot about it until yesterday when I stumbled on it.
Jordin is basically telling her love interest that as much as she has all these feelings towards him that she can’t control, she is still in control of what she does with them and he should therefore not let it go to his head.
Just cause I can’t go on
Just cause I die when you are gone
Just cause I think of you in bed
Don’t let it go to your head
Selfish by Asia cruise
You ever come across those guys who are just never wrong and have this cunning way of making everything your fault? Well, Asia here is singing about such a guy. According to her, the solution is leaving him.
Can’t stay another day when you’re always
Getting your way, you just keep getting your way
You just keep getting your way, you are selfish
So I decided not to get in your way
It’s time to do it my way
And that means getting away from you
You are selfish!
I conquer with her cause, such guys, however the number of chances you give them, they just don’t change leaving you with one option, leaving.
Irreplaceable by Beyoncé
When it comes to songs about girl power, our girl Beyoncé has never disappointed. From ‘survivor’ while she was still in Destiny’s Child to ‘who runs the world’ and we love her for that.
When I first heard this song , I never paid much attention to it, but when I finally did, I loved it. As much as my moral upbringing doesn’t allow me to agree with her telling her boyfriend, though a cheater, to return all the things she bought for him, I agree with her telling him that he is not irreplaceable.You must not know about me
You must not know about me
I could have another you by tomorrow
So don’t ever for a second get to thinking
You are irreplaceable
The songs above and many more, sang by women, remind us to reclaim our power in relationships and it is never too late for that. So if you are a woman in such a relationship, your power is yours for the taking.