Posted in Dreams, Experiences, Life, New Year, Uncategorized

Celebrating my Birthday in ‘Style’.

Photo by me.

Today is my birthday. I am turning 23 which is both exciting and scary. Exciting because, well, who wouldn’t be excited to be alive and scary in the sense that turning 23 takes me a step closer to 30 and if we are being truthful, we all are a little scared of getting old.
Setting that aside, when I tell anyone that today is my birthday, the question that pops up is, and quoting, “How will you be celebrating it?” The general assumption is that I will be in some club partying my way in to a crazy headache and the hangover of this ‘birth year’.
After some reflection, I decided to take a different path and celebrate my birthday asking myself the questions no one has asked me. What have I achieved so far? Are they in line with my goals? If not, why? Can I still achieve my goals? How will I do that? Is there anything else I want to achieve? What is it and how will I do it?
I don’t know how you guys celebrated your birthday or how you are planning to do so, but I do hope that this will act as a helpful guide.
As for me, I just hope that I don’t soak my pillow because of the responses to some of these questions.
Happy Birthday to me and everybody who is celebrating their birthday today!

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Posted in Dreams

Shattered

She smiles down at me.

Her face is brighter than I remember.

Wait!

Why is she floating?

She reads the question on my face

And stretches out her hands.

I stand on my toes to reach back.

I feel a knot in my stomach.

A tightness in my chest.

A choke in my throat.

Her hands are just a couple of inches away.

The pain is increasing

I should be happy!?

In an effort to understand why I am not,

I look down for a second

And when I look back up,

It is in to the darkness of my room.

It hits me then,

That her bright face,

That beautiful smile that

I will always remember,

Was just but a dream

But the pain,

The tightness in my chest,

Is as real

As the darkness in my room.

Posted in Dreams, Experiences, Uncategorized

Surrender.

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My mind is clear,
My head feels light
The sensation spreads to my shoulders
and they each,
the right after the left,
fall in to a comfortable position of relaxation.
Then my hands,
one by one,
fall to my sides
and my body
goes ahead
and revel
at the sensual feeling
of
surrender.

Posted in Dreams, Experiences, Inspirational, Lessons, Life, New Beginnings

DEAR BIG OLD “BIG SNOOZE” ,I AM AFRAID YOU ARE GONNA HAVE TO LET ME GO!

DEAR BIG OLD “BIG SNOOZE” ,I AM AFRAID YOU ARE GONNA HAVE TO LET ME GO!

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photo by me.

Those who have read JEN SINCERO’S book ‘YOU ARE A BAD ASS’, know what I mean by ‘Big Snooze’. Those who haven’t, what are you waiting for? GET yourself a copy!

‘Big Snooze’ as Jen Sincero calls it, is that feeling of inadequacy, that person , that not-so-good-past that can’t seem to set you free , that ingrained subconscious  belief of inferiority that is always trying, NO, that has succeeded in  keeping you right where you are no matter how much you struggle to move forward.

We all struggle with it.

I can’t tell you how many times I have tried to do something that I have always wanted to do, like learning how to play the guitar or singing only to give up after my trainer tells me to cut my nails till they look like they aren’t there anymore or my brothers laugh at me every time I tried to hit a high note.

My latest struggle has been this very blog!

First,for me to even  master the courage to start this blog, it took quite a lot of COURAGE. And now that I am here ,keeping on publishing requires even more COURAGE.

About two days ago, one of my brothers was taking a look at this website and he flat out told me that unless I make this blog about technology, the economy, politics or general current affairs, I won’t get more followers. 

I can’t say that I wasn’t tempted by his suggestion,Or discouraged by his lack of belief in me.Because I was. I want many followers. More and more likes and comments. Every blogger out there does. They motivate us. They keep us racking our brains for the next AWESOME article to post/publish. And yes! Making this blog a technological, economic or political  news or general current affairs forum might just guarantee me that. But at what cost? At the cost of achieving what I set out to achieve through this blog?

So yeah,  I do have less than 20 followers even after I followed myself and I have only hit a total of 20 likes and 6 comments on all my articles. But that doesn’t mean that I am going to trade my goal, which is finding and exploring my voice through writing, for more hits on the follow button, likes and comments.

No, it doesn’t!

Instead ,it has just  given me multiple reasons to publish more articles. Reasons to keep on keeping on. Because in the long run, I am certain I will achieve what  I desire most; recognition for my creativity.

So Dear not-so-big-anymore old ‘Big Snooze’ this is GOODBYE!You have lost this time, I assure you. So just LET ME GO! For good!