Yes, when a writer falls in love with you, through his/her words, you live on
Yes, when a writer falls in love with you, through his/her words, you live on
As in told you in the article -Lessons from a ‘freshman’ in the ‘real world’, I recently left the sheltered life I have lived since I remember and I am trying to navigate my way in the world. Men there is a loot I didn’t know. I can’t seem to get over the shock of how much I have learnt and still have to learn
Some of the lessons I have recently picked up are :
The real world is not your school. It is not your home. It is not any of your comfort zones. It is the real world. A world which, if you have lived a sheltered life like most of us, you know nothing.
Therefore, you know that know-it-all attitude we fresh graduates tend to carry around? Yeah, that one. Drop it! Be eager, be ready, and be determined, to learn from the veterans. That is the only way you can find your way out here.
“Art of learning how to make decisions is learning how to live with the poor ones.”
Do you know who the world swallows up alive? People who don’t have the spine to stand up for themselves and their beliefs. It is important for you to stand up for you. You want something, say it! You don’t like something, say it! You have something to say, say! It is that simple and difficult.
The catch is in knowing when to be forthright and when to be smart. Because, as much as being forthright exudes confidence it doesn’t always help your course. To succeed or rather help your course, you will have to come up with creative, smart, non-forthright but totally legal ways of standing up for yourself.
I have to wish you the BEST of luck in this cause you are gonna need it.
It is probably when you join the work force and you don’t get the results you expected. Or maybe it is a decision or a choice you have to make. It could be a number of things that make you beat yourself up for not getting them right.
Well, stop with the self-inflicted pressure because it is all part of the process. The learning and growing process. The best you can do is enjoy the process and take whatever you can from it.
Someone wise said “art of learning how to make decisions is learning how to live with the poor ones.”
Learn the gamblers song by heart, and you will just be alright.
Your pride, I mean.
There will be instances when you are forced to apologize for crimes you didn’t commit, things which you did that are perceived as wrong but aren’t actually wrong. In the work place you are going to be treated as KYM- kazi ya mkono which is absolutely wrong.
In short you are going to have to put up with a lot of BS. And I know, it is unfair. It is decharectarising. It goes against you principles. But if you play your cards right, it will work to your advantage.
I know it contradicts the second point, but then again, that is just how tricky the world is.
I had to get this out there one way or another😜. For tech lovers who love a good laugh like me, this is the TV show for you. You are going to be holding your sides from season 1 through 5.
Anyway, back to why I mentioned it. This show is quite educative. It will teach you a lot about how the world runs and how to successfully navigate your way in it. You will love how our Richie grows from a naïve genius to a mastermind who beats Gavin Belson at his own game.
Enjoy watching it, but DON’T emulate the language though!
As you can see, nothing is in black and white. All I can do is give you one piece of advice; learn the gamblers song by heart, and you will just be alright!\
All the BEST!
Good people are mostly treated like door mats. It is not how we want the world to be, it is just how the world is. You have a good heart. You have a conscience that actually works, and boom, all around you, everywhere you go, people do or want to take advantage of you. Your family, relatives, friends (or not) colleagues, fellow church members….the list is endless.
The worst part is that you get nothing tangible. On the contrary, you seem to lose. People see you as weak and that is frustrating. Very frustrating. Christina Hendricks in the TV series Good Girls said “all the fairy tales we were told as young girls, the morals were; if you are good, you don’t cheat, you don’t lie, good things will happen to you, if you are bad, you get punished. What if the people who made all that up are the bad guys? What if the bad guys made all that up so that the good people never get anything good?”
That’s something that touches a nerve. Something that when you hear, read or simply independently think about, you become tired of acting in accordance with your conscience. Or even just having one.
You look around you, there are evil people who have succeeded, gotten away with murder (both literally and figuratively), won and still winning, giving life to the maxim “some rise by sin…” Then you hunger for that. For the sweet feeling of winning. The thrill of victory. It all becomes so tempting that you consider going rogue. And nobody blames you for that. It is only human.
Each good person gone rogue, is a step back in the process of the world becoming a better place.
But look in to your heart again. What do you want most? You want the world to be a better place, right? For yourself and for everybody else. And you know what going rogue does? It keeps that from happening because each good person gone rogue is a setback. It is a step back in the process of the world becoming a better place.
So how do we do that? How do we make the world a better place? Definitely not by changing the evil people because that is not up to you. In fact it is humanely impossible. It is by doing what we do best: kindness!
There is no being kind to a good person or an evil person. There is just being kind. You know, not choosing who to be kind to, but at the same time, not allowing people to walk all over us.
Let’s make the world a better place one touched life at a time!
Each act of kindness touches a life. Of course, we can’t ignore the fact that sometimes, our kindness may be directed towards people who don’t appreciate, but let us concentrate more on the fact that the same kindness may be directed towards someone who will appreciate it. Whose life will be touched by it. And each touched life is a step towards making the world a better place.
Therefore, ( I don’t like using this word, but still..) screw the evil people. Screw their ill, crooked and selfish ways. Screw them all! Maintain that golden heart of yours. Stay kind! Stay good!
Let’s make the world a better place one touched life at a time!
On December of last year, I graduated with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Economics and Sociology which means I have spent a better part of my life as a student and as we know, one thing being a student does is sheltering you from the real world through agents like teachers, lecturers, non-teaching staff and on the very top of the list, your parents.
Then you graduate from college and where you go from there becomes the big question. In your attempt of trying to find some ground, you come face to face with the ‘real world’, and men, you are in for some form of ‘trans-world’ culture shock.
I am about 5 months in this ‘real world’ and I came up with this list of some of the lessons I have learnt.
Learn to let yourself let go
For someone who likes planning like me, this is a tough one. I like planning. I love it when things go my way , but in life, not everything goes as planned, especially when other people are involved e.g. getting a job in a corrupt countries where, apparently, you need a ‘godfather’.
In the end, to ease the disappointment and oh, the pressure, you are gonna have to learn to do your best, let go, go with the flow and see what happens. It’s much healthier that way.
People actually work!
Laugh at me all you want for not knowing this, but this came as a shocker to me. I watched my mom go to work every morning and most of the time, bring work home but in my imagination, I never thought that what she was doing was working hard. Not until I joined the ‘real world’ and started interacting with the working population while doing my own job search.
To begin with, getting a job is work on its own. You have to learn to write a good resume and make yourself more and more irresistible with each application, make a lot of online applications, drop your resume in all the organizations around you. Then, if you are shortlisted for an interview, you have to prepare like your life depends on it (and it does to some extent).
Same goes if you have decided to venture in to business, be it sole proprietorship or partnership, before you begin realizing some actual profit, you have to work, and extra hard and smart at that.
For those who are lucky enough to have inherited some family business, remember you have competitors, the most conniving ones being your family members, who are eyeing the same position. Therefore, to stay at the top of your game means working extra hard.
It’s all work! Work! Work!
Don’t expect too much from people
Expecting a lot and putting your hope on people is like putting perfectly good eggs in a rotten basket. The basket will give in, the eggs will fall and they will crash, really bad.
Now, if you don’t want to end up hating the entire human race, you included, I would suggest you heed this one.
Failure comes before success
It is said that success introduces you to the real world and failure introduces the world to you. But you know what else failure is; a prerequisite for success.
All the world’s successful people like Equity Bank’s CEO James Mwangi, Microsoft’s Bill Gates etc. had several unsuccessful episodes but that didn’t deter them from succeeding, and you know why? Because they did not give up.
Failure doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough, it just means you have to put in more effort. The trick is to take a little break after each episode, clear your mind and gather your energy before continuing (I mean, you don’t want to end up with a nervous breakdown or depression).
Eventually, you will have a breakthrough; your sweet victory and a very interesting story to accompany that.
You gotta be smart
This is very IMPORTANT! Everywhere you go people will want to use you, take advantage of your knowledge, skills, young mind and energy, eagerness to help and let’s not forget hunger for approval, all at no cost.
Take it from someone who has been a victim, you can’t afford to be naïve! Be discerning. Be smart!
All the BEST out there!
I have always had the habit of holding on to the things I no longer need or that are of no use to me. But today, immediately after breakfast, I decided to go through all my stuff and got rid of all the unnecessary ones; clothes, books, shoes, name them all.
This led me to thinking, how many of us hold on to grudges, past mistakes, toxic relationships etc only to get weighed down and held back from possible love, happiness, friendships and general success?
If you are one of these people, let’s do things differently this time. Start by closing 2017 on a clean slate. Apologize to those you owe apologies. Accept the apologies of those who apologize. Following R. Brault advice-Life becomes easier when you learn to accept the apology you never got, accept the apologies you haven’t and probably, will never get. Analyze your relationships and get out of all the toxic ones, they are only holding you back.
When 2018 comes, love yourself first, then you will be able to love others, after all, as someone said, you can’t serve from an empty vessel. Love until you feel like your heart is bursting. Give, but give until it hurts. Laugh and smile more. Forgive more. Define your own gravity-get out of your comfort zone and take more risks.
Worry less, especially about money keeping in mind that the best things in life including love, laughter, family, friends, hugs and kisses are free. Hate less, fear less, frown less, hold no grudges.
Spend more time with your family and friends. Give more hugs and kisses especially to your mom and remind her you love her every day. Bring joy and laughter wherever you go.
Embrace your imperfections because they are awesome! Forgive yourself for your mistakes and for those you find hard to, laugh them away until you do. Get that body that you have always wanted, you will look amazing! Love the one you have, you have never been more beautiful! Frequently treat yourself to nice things, you deserve to.
This 2018, fall and stay in love with being alive and when the year ends, you will look back and thank God for the choices you made.
HAPPY 2018 Y’ALL!
Growing up, especially in my early teenage hood, I wanted to be a lot of things. My dream list went like this: a great actress like Sarah Hassan , famous musician like Michael Jackson and a super model like Ajuma Nasenyana but I ended up being a writer like,well,no one but me!
We have all gone though that at some point in life. Wanting and working towards being like someone else and it mostly backfires on our faces. Because, let us face it, the only person we can successfully pull off being is a better version of us.
I am not saying that having a role model is bad. On the contrary,it is good. It kind of gives us a push towards whatever we want to be.But it is creating our own paths and finding our own voices that will get us there.
So I encourage you, to find that which makes your heart race and make it your own wonderful unique voice.If it is painting, let each stroke of the brush on the canvas be uniquely yours or if it is fashion,then make each design show the world why you are different from another design. Whatever you do, let your voice be loud and clear.
Osho once said “Nobody superior, nobody is inferior, but nobody is equal either. People are simply unique,incomparable.You are you, I am I.” That which makes you you, that which makes you unique. That is your voice. Find it.Develop it.Be it! The world can’t wait to hear from you!
Those who have read JEN SINCERO’S book ‘YOU ARE A BAD ASS’, know what I mean by ‘Big Snooze’. Those who haven’t, what are you waiting for? GET yourself a copy!
‘Big Snooze’ as Jen Sincero calls it, is that feeling of inadequacy, that person , that not-so-good-past that can’t seem to set you free , that ingrained subconscious belief of inferiority that is always trying, NO, that has succeeded in keeping you right where you are no matter how much you struggle to move forward.
We all struggle with it.
I can’t tell you how many times I have tried to do something that I have always wanted to do, like learning how to play the guitar or singing only to give up after my trainer tells me to cut my nails till they look like they aren’t there anymore or my brothers laugh at me every time I tried to hit a high note.
My latest struggle has been this very blog!
First,for me to even master the courage to start this blog, it took quite a lot of COURAGE. And now that I am here ,keeping on publishing requires even more COURAGE.
About two days ago, one of my brothers was taking a look at this website and he flat out told me that unless I make this blog about technology, the economy, politics or general current affairs, I won’t get more followers.
I can’t say that I wasn’t tempted by his suggestion,Or discouraged by his lack of belief in me.Because I was. I want many followers. More and more likes and comments. Every blogger out there does. They motivate us. They keep us racking our brains for the next AWESOME article to post/publish. And yes! Making this blog a technological, economic or political news or general current affairs forum might just guarantee me that. But at what cost? At the cost of achieving what I set out to achieve through this blog?
So yeah, I do have less than 20 followers even after I followed myself and I have only hit a total of 20 likes and 6 comments on all my articles. But that doesn’t mean that I am going to trade my goal, which is finding and exploring my voice through writing, for more hits on the follow button, likes and comments.
No, it doesn’t!
Instead ,it has just given me multiple reasons to publish more articles. Reasons to keep on keeping on. Because in the long run, I am certain I will achieve what I desire most; recognition for my creativity.
So Dear not-so-big-anymore old ‘Big Snooze’ this is GOODBYE!You have lost this time, I assure you. So just LET ME GO! For good!