I hate violence. Violence against women, against children, against human beings and against animals( those who load 400 litres of water on a cart pulled by one donkey and then lash the donkey to move faster all the way to their destination, you are pure evil).
What I witnessed on Sunday irked me to my bones. I saw two guys walking and entering a building which I believe is what we call a video show. A minute later, the guy who was at the front, who is built and strong, threw out the one who was at the back who is not built at all and appeared a little drunk.
The built guy then kicked him and stepped on his neck while the victim was just lying there, not trying to fight back and kept on saying “Go on, step on me, I have contributed a lot to this business.” And shamelessly, he kept on pummelling him while throwing victorious glances at me, probably thinking “oh she is so impressed by me now, seeing how I am totally winning this”. Well, screw you dude! I couldn’t be less impressed. Two or three more guys walked out of the building and pulled the victim to his feet and the built guy started slapping him on the face while again, the victim responded with” I have contributed a lot to this business”.
What angered me the most is that the guys weren’t even trying to help him. Nobody tried to prevent the bully from hitting him. And I just stood there, feeling very bad but unable to do anything cause I might have ended up being his next victim which wouldn’t have helped.
I disrespect violent people. Most of all, I disrespect those who fight against the weak. Those who fight against people who have no chance of winning against them. It is no fair fight. It is bullying. And moreover, there is neither honor nor glory in winning a fight against someone who had no chance of defeating you to begin with.
If you are one of these people, get yourself some class.
I was raised by a single mother so I know nothing about having a father. Not even one who shows up once in a while on my birthday with a gift wrapped shoddily, but shows up all the same and with a gift! No! However, I know quite a lot about having the best mother (God bless her soul). A mother who was both a mother and a father. A mother who made sure we were well fed, clothed (she had a great sense of style) , sheltered, had good education, gave moral and emotional support and the best of everything. Yeah, that was my mommy. She was my mother, father and the best.
When I was a child, I used to make up stories about my father to my peers. I would tell them how he has done this and that, bought me this and that so that I would fit in. As I grew up, I started realizing how unfair that was to my mom. I mean she was there, working hard, being the provider, making sacrifices and all and I was busy dishing out the credit to someone who wasn’t there. I was being stupid and very unfair to her so I stopped it.
It is her and women like her that I am celebrating today. Women who are raising their kids on their own. Women who are both mothers and fathers. Women who are working really hard and making sacrifices so that their kids have the best of everything. Who look at their kids with pride when they are at their best, hold their hands at their worst and pick them up when they fall. Women who are doing their best to make sure their kids don’t feel the gap their fathers left. Those are the women I am celebrating today.
Keep on making the world a better place for your children. Your work, sacrifices, efforts won’t go unrewarded.
We love you! We are so proud of you! We celebrate you!
Happy Father’s day!
photo uploaded from google
I was taken to boarding school when I was 8, almost 9 years. You see, I had grown in to an entitled spoilt brat with an academic performance that was deteriorating at the speed of a high speed train. So in the last attempt to salvage my future, my mom did what was really painful for her (considering she would visit every other week); shipping me off to boarding school. An all girl’s catholic boarding school. Needless to say, it was a wise move cause two weeks in the school, and I was as straight as an arrow.
One thing I would like to make clear is that in boarding schools, it is not the authority or rules that make your life a living hell, it is your fellow students.
You all might have encountered the stinging voiced “what are you looking at girl” mean queen bees, but in boarding schools, the queen bees are meaner with the “Don’t you dare look at me like that bitch” cowering look, probably due to twice the parental negligence (considering their parents made little to no effort to visit) that is the psychology behind mean girls.
In my class (class four), there were two queen bees, which was too many for such a small class, each with her unit, and then there was the empress bee who controlled the queen bees and their units.
From the first interaction with the empress, you would think she isn’t a teeny weeny mean, but wait until you interact with the queen bees or watch her interact with them, as her minions, that is when you will discover just how witchy she is. I believe you have already began picturing how severe the bullying was.
The school wasn’t an all boarding school, there were non-boarders too or day scholars as we called them. They had their own queen bee who, if you have been following the story, was the empress’s minion. In fact, the most valued one because she used to bring her goodies like roast corn and French fries from home and made sure her unit does the same.
Like everyone in that class, I was subject to the tyranny that was, correct me if am wrong, the empress’s way out of her own miseries. Of all the sufferings, there is one which stands out, probably because the years have diluted it in to one hilarious memory.
One thing about that school was that there was a lot of superstition going around. Stories of ghosts and the likes were so many and in versions enough to produce several award winning horror movies. But it is the belief in witch doctors and fortune tellers that gave me what is now the funny memory.
It happened during my first term in the school. I don’t remember the day of the week but I do remember it was after the first period. One of the day scholars discovered that her lunch money was missing. The empress, exercising her power told the class “everyone, open your bags, remove your books from the desks, we are having an impromptu search.”
Well, even after what was a very thorough search, the money was nowhere to be found.
The day scholar’s queen bee, in a bid to impress the empress, which was selfish by the way considering she was her favorite due to the goodies, (just saying), said to the empress “I have a neighbor who is a witch doctor, he can tell us who stole the money.”
“How many times have I told you not to lie to me?”
“But I am saying the truth. There was this one time, he made the person who stole my uncle’s cow eat grass”
After several stories of her neighbor’s success in catching thieves and men and women who were committing adultery with other people’s spouses, it was settled that she would come tomorrow with the name or description of the lunch money thief.
Since my initiation in to how ‘the system’ works and the discovery of who the head was, in my own measure of survival, I had managed to stay out of the empress’s and her minion’s way but on the day of the revelation, my mind or mouth betrayed me.
The next day, we were all anxious to know who the ‘thief’ was, but if you ask me, Caro lost the money while playing Kati during short break, but you can’t tell that to a class full of superstitious kids who believe in thief-catching witch doctors and ghosts roaming the school. By the end of the first period, she had not revealed the name which was unlike her, which means she either didn’t visit the fortune teller or, the fortune teller was a fraud or, my personal favorite, there was no fortune teller to begin with, which would make her a ton creative considering the stories she told us. So the case of the missing coin was closed, until it wasn’t.
After short break, we had a double English. The only double I liked. I am not bragging but I was pretty good at English, thanks to my mom. We were doing tenses that day. The teacher asked the class to write the sentence “I set the table for supper last night.” in past tense. The day scholar queen bee’s hand shot up and she was chosen. She went to the board and wrote “I setted the table for supper last night.”
You see, when you love something like I love English, when it is done wrong, your whole body is unsettled until the mistake is corrected. Therefore, I was basically standing on my toes, frantically waving my right hand while chanting “teacher, teacher, teacher” even before the teacher asked for the class’s opinion. Unable to ignore my enthusiasm, the teacher said “Shalleen, do you want to try?” I rushed to the board so quickly, knocking some desks along the way as I was a tall clumsy child, that I did not notice, what my few loyal friends called ‘I will finish you look’ that the day scholar queen bee gave me on her way to her desk.
Immediately after the lesson, she walked to the empress’s desk and whispered in her ear. After a minute or two of consulting, nose up, with so much air of importance, she matched to the front of the class and said “the witch doctor told me that the girl who stole the m0ney is light skinned, tall and skinny.”
All eyes turned to me.
I spent the rest of the term with the humiliating title of the class thief.
I was just going to lie
For a little while
It was too far a cry
And a thousand whys
It was a baptism of fire
A fire in baptism
A lover in a narcissist
A saint in a sinner
A sinner in a saint
A lost soul seeking asylum.
My neighbor’s boy Richie, quite an interesting, playful and full of life little fellow he is. He is always running around, screaming with laughter. Boy, he has a hearty laughter and a beautiful toothless smile that is akin to children his age. He is just so adorable.
Yesterday evening, we met while he was going to the shops with his nanny. After several hi-5s and our usual laughter filled chit-chat , just from nowhere, he asked me “uko na katoto?” Translated to English, “Do you have a small baby?” It was a simple yes or no question that caught me completely off guard.
I don’t know what prompted him to ask me that question, but whatever it is, that innocent yet curious look on his face while asking it made my day.
Photo uploaded from google.
As in told you in the article -Lessons from a ‘freshman’ in the ‘real world’, I recently left the sheltered life I have lived since I remember and I am trying to navigate my way in the world. Men there is a loot I didn’t know. I can’t seem to get over the shock of how much I have learnt and still have to learn
Some of the lessons I have recently picked up are :
You know nothing
The real world is not your school. It is not your home. It is not any of your comfort zones. It is the real world. A world which, if you have lived a sheltered life like most of us, you know nothing.
Therefore, you know that know-it-all attitude we fresh graduates tend to carry around? Yeah, that one. Drop it! Be eager, be ready, and be determined, to learn from the veterans. That is the only way you can find your way out here.
“Art of learning how to make decisions is learning how to live with the poor ones.”
Learn to stand up for yourself
Do you know who the world swallows up alive? People who don’t have the spine to stand up for themselves and their beliefs. It is important for you to stand up for you. You want something, say it! You don’t like something, say it! You have something to say, say! It is that simple and difficult.
The catch is in knowing when to be forthright and when to be smart. Because, as much as being forthright exudes confidence it doesn’t always help your course. To succeed or rather help your course, you will have to come up with creative, smart, non-forthright but totally legal ways of standing up for yourself.
I have to wish you the BEST of luck in this cause you are gonna need it.
It is totally okay not to get it right in the beginning.
It is probably when you join the work force and you don’t get the results you expected. Or maybe it is a decision or a choice you have to make. It could be a number of things that make you beat yourself up for not getting them right.
Well, stop with the self-inflicted pressure because it is all part of the process. The learning and growing process. The best you can do is enjoy the process and take whatever you can from it.
Someone wise said “art of learning how to make decisions is learning how to live with the poor ones.”
Learn the gamblers song by heart, and you will just be alright.
You have to swallow it!
Your pride, I mean.
There will be instances when you are forced to apologize for crimes you didn’t commit, things which you did that are perceived as wrong but aren’t actually wrong. In the work place you are going to be treated as KYM- kazi ya mkono which is absolutely wrong.
In short you are going to have to put up with a lot of BS. And I know, it is unfair. It is decharectarising. It goes against you principles. But if you play your cards right, it will work to your advantage.
I know it contradicts the second point, but then again, that is just how tricky the world is.
Silicon Valley is pretty awesome!
I had to get this out there one way or another😜. For tech lovers who love a good laugh like me, this is the TV show for you. You are going to be holding your sides from season 1 through 5.
Anyway, back to why I mentioned it. This show is quite educative. It will teach you a lot about how the world runs and how to successfully navigate your way in it. You will love how our Richie grows from a naïve genius to a mastermind who beats Gavin Belson at his own game.
Enjoy watching it, but DON’T emulate the language though!
As you can see, nothing is in black and white. All I can do is give you one piece of advice; learn the gamblers song by heart, and you will just be alright!\
All the BEST!