Posted in Girls, Height, Women

Tall Girls’ Problems

photo by me

Being tall is good. Strike that! Is great! From rocking long legs in the little black dress and looking absolutely stunning in a maxi dress to ‘long legs advantage’ when running for dear life during campus police party raids. From not struggling to reach for peanut butter (or anything in that case) from the top shelf to not struggling to get attention (whether you want it or not)… just like our legs, the list is very long. But like a coin, any coin, you flip it and you are presented with the other side; the not so glamorous side.

People thinking you are older than you actually are
This is especially true in my village where most people (especially the older generation) equate age with height. Back in class four, my grade teacher asked me how old I was and when I said I was 8 years (and turning nine in two months’ time which is the average age of students in class 4 here in Kenya), he did not believe me and pointedly told the class that I must be 12 years because I was taller than everybody. I have never been so hurt.

Those weird looks that you get when you run
I don’t know if I am the only one who experiences this or gets bothered by it, but whenever I run, I get these weird looks from people as if they have watched ,my huge steps swallow something or maybe heard the ground’s cry for help. I could never tell which is the why.

Acting cute just doesn’t work for us
Short girls are cute when they act cute (and sometimes even when they aren’t trying to), but for us, it mostly ends up being a cry for help. I once tried acting cute in front of some of my male friends, and they were like, what’s up with your face? Well, that put an end to this girl ever acting cute

The constant reminder of how getting a boyfriend is like trying to win a lottery
Personally, this is the most annoying one. Sometime back, I was taking a walk with my friend and most of the guys we met were commending my height (of course they were a mixture of mockeries and genuine comments). Anyway, my friend was like;
Friend X: I really love your height Shah
Me: 😁😊😊😊🙌
Friend X: But the thing is finding a boyfriend is some task
Me:🤦😒😢😢
As if I didn’t already know. The worst part is that she is 5’5 dating a 6’1 guy. So unfair 😢

Your single step is 3 times your friends
However much we try taking tiny steps, it just doesn’t work for us. There was this one time I was walking in the hallway of my faculty building and I overheard one of the guys who were walking in the opposite direction discussing how huge my steps are and laughing about it. Guys, I just can’t help it 🤷.

Group Photos
No matter where you stand in a group photo with your short friends, you are gonna look out of place. You stand on one end, it is gonna look like an alien . If you stand in the middle, well it’s gonna look like you are going to crash them all and if you stand at the back, you gonna look like you post your way to the photo. And all these with the constant risk of ending up with no forehead.
A solo photo happens to be the best option here, but if it happen to be taken by your short sister, you my friend, might end up with an unproportioned head-body ratio.

As much as the list of challenges is not long but a little discouraging, don’t fear to rock them huge steps.
Cheers to long legs and a life of being asked to reach for peanut butter or whatever else from the top shelf!

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Posted in Feminism, Women

The Pains of the African Woman.

african women

Being an African myself, born and bred in Africa, I can say that I have had the displeasure of witnessing/seeing firsthand what the African culture/society has done to its woman.

Sure, I happened to be lucky enough to have a mother who made sure I know that my place isn’t the kitchen, that I can do anything and be anything I set my heart to, but that is not the case for every girl. The average African girl is brought up with the mentality that she is inferior to her brothers both young and old.

She has to serve her brothers as her masters. She has to serve them food and water even if they walk in when she is in the middle of her meal, and when they need a refill, she has to ‘pause’ eating and refill their plates. She doesn’t have a ‘name’ until she gets married and gets her husband’s name thus making marriage her biggest dream and highest achievement. Therefore, she learns how to be a ‘good wife’ from as early as she can walk; she learns to cook, fetch firewood, balance a pot full of water on her head cause, these are the qualities the man’s family will look at when the time for marriage comes.

If she falls pregnant while still in school or before marriage, she gets ostracized by everybody around her, while the boy, who made the same mistake as her, is treated with some sort of reverence because he has proved that he is a ‘man’.

When she gets married, she becomes her husband’s property. She is expected to just be seen but not to be heard. She can’t make any decision regarding the children, the family or even herself except what they are going to have for breakfast, lunch and supper. If the husband turns out to be violent, she is expected to receive every beating graciously because, well, there is no better show of ‘affection’ than a beating from your husband.

If the husband starts cheating and going around with other women, she is expected to stay put since men are not meant to be monogamous and after all, it’s her job to keep ‘her house’ together. If she keeps on complaining then she is told that she is the problem; she must be doing something wrong, otherwise, the man wouldn’t be looking at other women.

In the cases where the husband abandons her and the children, raises her children but at the end of it all, it’s said that the children belong to the man. If one or a couple of them end up ‘not doing so well in life’, then those are hers cause its assumed that they must have got it from her or she simply didn’t raise them well.

Video clips of cats drowning while trying to rescue their kittens, or dogs getting hit by a car or pleading faces of street kids begging for food are as sad as hell, but there’s nothing as heartbreaking as watching an African woman going through all this and so much more with a brave smile on her face.